starshatter
by J. R. Pharoah
Summary: The reasons for Terra's dark and troubled heart are the virtues of the wind. "...I...can't be your hero, Ven," Terra says, letting his thumb touch the corner of Ven's mouth, running over the smooth tremble of his lower lip. "I tried." He says, beginning to crack. And when Ven opens his mouth to speak, Terra closes it with his own. TerraVen.


Author's Note: My little PWP has turned into something I wasn't quite expecting. It's a lot more...angsty then I planned, and there is some smut yet, but not as explicit as I had expected. But it still deserves of the rating of M, so remember that. Also, I love Terra. He's my favorite character from the Kingdom Hearts series besides Sora, of course, so I was very excited to do a bit of a character study of his. I've never written Ven, and only written Terra once, so I'm still trying to really learn their characters. Hopefully sooner or later I can get better at writing them. So anyways, enjoy this little smutty, angsty TerraVen one-shot.

Warnings: some bbs spoilers, but not much.

…

Starshatter

…

It's a funny thing, wind, that is. Light as a midday breeze, and, yet, strong enough to shake the earth to its core.

Ven can't find a way to ever make Terra happy. Even when he tries his hardest to, it just never works. He doesn't understand why Terra can't take a compliment, and finds it even harder to get how Terra views himself. Terra's always been so hard on himself, always so ready to doubt himself even when he proves to be so great at everything. So Ven tries to be the "wind beneath Terra's wings," so to speak; to be there to lift Terra up when he is just a step away from falling off the edge.

But, despite Terra's shakiness, Ven knows how strong he is. Why else would Master Eraqus haven chosen him to be his apprentice.

And yet, there's something dark and unknown lingering in Terra's heart. Ven, pure of heart and naive as he was, still sees it.

And it scares him to death...to wonder where Terra might end up because of it.

* * *

Terra finds himself at ease when it's just him and Ven sprawled across the grass staring up at the stars above. Every insignificant star is a larger significant world, and even though it makes Terra feel small, he hopes one day, he'll be able to make a difference to just one person out there.

Stargazing is so relaxing for the one, simple fact that being with Ven gives Terra the ability to breathe again. He feels peace. It's the only way he can shut down the demons that always try orchestrating his very move and thought. In these moments, Ven's light becomes Terra's light, and Terra likes the way he feels when he's around Ven. He's is the only one who makes him feel like he can make a difference, makes him feel like things are going to be alright.

And Ven knows it, and he tries.

But Terra can't figure himself out, doesn't even want to, when he feels the darkness tug at corners of his mind that aren't as far off as they should be.

When he looks at Ven, his fingers coursing through honey hair, he wants his virtue; wants to pursue it and make it _his._ But once its his, Ven's virtue will be gone, and Terra knows he can't have it both ways.

_Do I really have so much darkness in me_, Terra asks himself as he locks his fingers with Ven's, _that I really can't hold it back? Or am I just not trying hard enough?_

No one is supposed to know. He hides it from Aqua, but he knows how perceptive she is, and he plays a facade around Ven. He never lets it show around Master Eraqus, and he knows his right as a Keyblade Master would be ripped from his dirty, guilty hands. Terra knows he can't think of kissing, touching, fucking Ven when Ven is years younger in age and mentality. And he knows he can't act on those thoughts either—even if it's so incredibly difficult to put those thoughts aside whenever he's with his friend.

Really though, he's just worried for Ven's virtue; with one touch...it might shatter.

Above them, they watch as a star goes out.

* * *

Ven sits in Master Eraqus chair, and feels grown up. And as he watches Terra train, he wonders if he'll ever reach such power and strength. Or height. It's a bit hard to feel like Terra's equal when he's heads higher than Ven, and his muscles fill out his armor much more than Ven's own. But even so, Terra has a funny way of putting his arm around Ven's shoulder and smiling at him, and Ven still feels like an equal.

He flinches when he hears Terra cry out and toss his Keyblade to the floor with a metallic clang. His head his buried in his palms, and Ven knows Terra's frustrated. He always seems to let his frustration get the better of him.

"What's wrong, Terra?" Ven asks, ready to spring from the throne he's sitting on. Just his voice alone, and Ven can see Terra relax, and when he turns to him, his brow breaks out of tension.

"Nothing," he says, and Ven knows that growl in his voice shouldn't belong to Terra. "I'm not focused. I just need to train more, work harder, then maybe Master Eraqus will-"

"Stop, deep breath," Ven says as he jumps off the seat and walks over to Terra's Keyblade. "Master Eraqus believes in you. _I _believe in you." He hands the blade over to Terra. Ven wonders why he seems so hesitant to take it back, and why his Keyblade looks like it weighs a million pounds in Terra's palm.

"Why, Ven? You believe in me, no matter what I do. No matter how much I fail."

"Losing isn't failing," Ven tries as he reaches up to place a hand on Terra's shoulder. "You're unbelievable, Terra, and you know it. You're as good as Aqua, too. You're as good as anybody. You're strong and-"

"I may have physical strength, but not strength of heart."

There's an odd sort of expression playing on Terra's face. Ven wonders if his words coaxed the fear out of Terra, and the way his fingers tremble as they lift Ven's hand away from his shoulder makes him worry.

"You're the strongest person I know though. You're like my backbone. You're always there for me when I need you, you know."

"Stop, Ven," Terra says as he presses a hand to Ventus' lips, and Ventus feels his calloused thumb brush against his cheek. "There are just some things you don't understand yet."

And Ven feels this is the only time Terra has ever treated him so small.

"Don't treat me like a kid, Terra," he says as he pushes that hand away, and Ven swears he can almost feel a tremor in the earth when he sees that look Terra gives him.

"Sorry, Ven, I just have a lot to deal with. There's a lot going on in my own head."

And Ven just wishes he had the power to shake Terra free from all the self-induced guilt and unnecessary self-doubt. Where was it coming from? And how can Ven stop it?

And as Terra touches Ven's cheek, letting his rough palm stroke Ven's softer skin, Ven feels a change in his heart. And as Terra walks away, Ven calls out to him, "You're going to be a hero one day." And Terra stops, and looks over his shoulder. "I know you are. I believe in you Terra. You're going to pass your Mark of Mastery test...and you're going to be the greatest hero ever. And I can't wait for you to start believing it too."

And that definitely has to be a tremor underneath Ven's feet, shaking him to the very core as he watches Terra's body stiffen. And when Terra walks away, his steps are heavy. And Ven doesn't understand why he can't get through to Terra. He looks up at the ceiling, through the rooftop window that crops the night into a patch of sky and stars.

And a shooting star flies by, and Ven wishes.

* * *

There's stars in his eyes, Terra notices, as Ven wishes for a happy moment that isn't so fleeting. But Terra just wants power, just wants strength. And he can see the disappointment in the younger boy's eyes when Ven arrives for the supposed "talk" Terra wanted to have. And all Terra really wants is to spar.

But it's still possible to talk during sparring. That's when Terra is the most brutally honest anyway. When all the flurry of emotions rise like dust from the dirt Terra glides across. Sometimes, Terra is is centuries apart from the statuesque warrior, and some find it fascinating to watch the crumbling of a mountain when he can move in such graceful strides and lightweight steps.

Terra had spent the night counting stars and thinking of the ones in Ven's eyes, in Ven's smile. Stars like his freckles dusted across the bridge of his nose. But most importantly, he thought of Ven's words.

A hero, he had said. And the words twisted at his heart until it could no longer feel. Terra knew one thing: he could never be a hero. He wasn't pure of heart like Ven. He wasn't high above temptation and immune to darkness, like Aqua.

He was weak, prone to the beckoning chill of darkness and the whisper against his ear of lust.

Because when he looks at Ven, he sees him for all he is: Pure, naive, innocent, good, amazing, wonderful, understanding Ven.

And here, Terra had thought he had never wanted anything more than to be named a Keyblade Master.

He wonders if maybe it's what is lacking in Terra's heart that makes him crave Ven's. Two halves of a whole.

He is the wind beneath his wings. The wind that lifts the dirt.

And Terra finds it so hard, finds _himself_ hard, when he has Ven cornered against a pillar, Keyblade christening the stone beside the shorter boy's head. His other palm lays flat on the opposite side, and that look on Ven's face, that naïve confusion is the one that has Terra fighting to keep these flurry of emotions under control. Just another day, just another moment, just another second Terra.

He must not break. He can't give into fluttering eyelashes and full lips. He can't give into the smell of pomegranates and honey from Ven's hair. He can't give into that skin, so soft against his calloused palm. Terra doesn't realize he is touching Ven's face until Ven says his name.

"...I...can't be your hero, Ven," Terra says, letting his thumb touch the corner of Ven's lips, running over the smooth tremble of his lower lip. "I tried." He says, beginning to crack.

And when Ven opens his mouth to speak, Terra closes it with his own. The Keyblade drops, and Terra holds onto the sides of the shorter boy's face as if desperate he might disappear. And the kiss is strong, but what else is to be expected from Terra? He bites Ven's lips, waits for a struggle, and finds a submission. Ven's quiet, like the rustle of wind-swept leaves, in the noises he makes when Terra pushes him against the stone. And Ven allows his lips to part when Terra's tongue requests entrance.

And when Terra pulls away to gauge Ven's expression, the stars from his eyes are gone.

* * *

Terra gives Ven a second to breathe, but what need is there, when Terra already has taken his breath away? Terra is searching within Ven's eyes, and he hopes his eyes speak what his mouth had never been able to.

But Ven had never intended this. Never intended for Terra's lips to singe his own in a way Ven had never felt. Ven hadn't even understood what he had always felt for Terra. How could he when he was so pure of heart?

Virtue had never led Ven astray. Never led him to pleasures such as the ones born underneath Terra's hand, birthed against Terra's tongue.

Ven's virtue lays to rest when Terra lays Ven atop the grass and flowers, blossoming for spring. Blues and golds when moonlit, for Terra and Ven know they could never lie together in the honesty of the blaring sun, for the Master would never approve of such behavior from his pupil.

He will never approve of the way Terra presses kisses to the column of Ven's neck. And Aqua could never understand why Ven arches his back to press his panting chest to Terra's.

Light doesn't understand darkness.

And Ven himself, may not understand, but he is practically soaring. Terra removes his armor, and removes the clothes from his torso, and lets his teeth nibble at nipples and skin. And Ven is flying to the moon. Bottoms are shimmied off hips, and Terra's thumb presses into sharp hip bones, cradling the much shorter boy's hips so that they angle with own. And he _drags_ his long cock against Ven's and Ven flies high enough to touch the stars. Terra wraps his hand around Ven's neck as he chokes Ven's cock with his other hand, and Ven can practically _see _stars dancing in front of his eyes. But Terra doesn't hurt him, and lets go of his throat when he hears Ven whimper, like a breeze.

"Do you want me to stop?" The earth stands still, and Ven falls down from the sky, eyes opening to look at Terra's face. Concern worn on his face despite the flush of heated skin, and Ven reaches up to grab Terra's collar. And though he's surprised at what he feels, he's even more surprised at how its even possible to feel this way, but all he knows is that he doesn't want it to end. Not yet. And as Ven falls to the earth, he shakes his head, and whispers, "No."

And Terra rocks against him again, shaking Ven to his core like an powerful earthquake, and Ven is moaning against the shell of Terra's ear. And Ven's trembling fingers are nimble when they undo the buttons to Terra's pants and Ven wonders just what he is supposed to do next. But Terra sees the hesitation, and with one hand, removes his bottoms to allow his cock to spring open. Ven doesn't know what to do, where to touch, and Terra tilts Ven's chin up, and guides Ven's hand to the base.

And Ven pleasures Terra with unsteady hands and doesn't really know that those grunts Terra's making mean for him to go faster, and even if his hands can't exactly stroke as fast as Terra is used to, Ven can tell Terra's honest with the way his eyelashes flutter and the way he bites his lip.

The meadow below Ven's body is soft, even soft against his cheek when Terra flips him around and presses his face against the grass. Buckles fall to the ground, and zippers are undone, and Ven won't confess that his heart is pounding against his chest, and he's nervous. Maybe even a little afraid. But he's brave, a lot less fleeting than a passing wind, and he knows he wants this.

And Ven braces himself, grasping onto grass, and a daffodil collapses between his fingers when Terra pushes inside him gently, and even though they aren't as prepared as Terra would like them to be, even if it's Ven's first time and even if yes, it does _hurt_ at first, it still makes Ven touch the sky again.

The two are lost in sensation and virtue is shattered. But maybe, virtue was just begging to be.

* * *

There are a lot of things in Terra's life that he regrets. He knows just how to tear himself apart, even when he achieves something great, something he's always wanted.

Master Eraqus has noticed his change in mood lately. He warns him that if he doesn't soothe his mind and center the light inside him there is a strong chance he will not pass the test. The Mark of Mastery test that will decide his fate as a Keyblade Wielder. His whole life here at the Land of Departure has led up to this moment.

But Terra isn't sure what to do when he sees Ven and notices the stars have blinked out of his eyes. He doesn't know how he feels about knowing he has completely swallowed Ven's virtue whole. He's angry at himself and Terra knows anger births darkness.

Is Ven so important to Terra, that he is willing to give up the Mark of Mastery, and give up the title that came with wielding the Keyblade?

Terra isn't so sure he's even worth that title anymore.

Ven doesn't agree.

When Terra visits Ven's room, tired and worn out from a day's worth of training, and Ven presses kisses to his eyelids, his temple, his forehead, Terra can't help but ask, "Do you think I'm a hero?"

And just before Ven leans down to press a soft kiss to Terra's own lips, he smiles and whispers to him, "Always."

* * *

The darkness inside Terra has won and there was nothing Ven could have done. He watches with disappointment and confusion when the Master tells Terra he has failed. Aqua has been crowned Master, and when Terra storms out, Ven follows. But Terra denies the companionship that Ven knows he needs. He knows he can be difficult, but Ven's heart still drops when Terra flies away and disappears like a star.

And Ven is scared all over again...for what might become of his friend.

* * *

Some time later, Terra dies a villain's death and the last few moments of his life he spends watching Ven fall, proof that he is the failure he has always known himself to be.

* * *

As Ventus falls from the sky, Terra is farther and farther out of reach. The last thing he sees is the blinking out of a star.

And Ven feels the last of Terra's light fade.


End file.
